What is love? How to maintain the feeling of love?

I was very in love with Alvin from jan to march 2012. My mind and soul were all about him. He gave me very different feelings and burned me by his passion. Later, we came through ups and downs. To me that's mainly because he has withdrawn from marrying me. To him, he didn't like me saying things so directly and ruthlessly. Up till December 2012, I thought we would break up soon if he didn't commit to me. Then I found myself got pregnant. This changed the whole picture. We got married in jan 2013 and expecting the baby.

I still wouldn't know if without baby liu, will we still be together. We have smoother time together after the first period of argument. I learnt how to treat him in saying better words.

However after a few months, I found sometimes I wanted to keep myself away from Alvin.
It started from mid may while we were in Singapore.
I can see that he has less passion for me now. He wouldn't plan much activities, and a lot of time he doesn't have much patience.
Even when we are together, sometimes not much to say also.
It kinda feel like the the last year with kelvin. This makes me scared. Coz we are both losing feelings.
Also he sometimes compared me to others, and asked why I m not curious / not interested / what are my interest.  Quite often i feel i swallowed tolerance, unappreciated,  inferior and unloved feeling.
All these make me want to get away.

Next Time I shall tell him stop asking about my interest. I don't like him keep asking question.  This experience also taught me to be independent and never rely on someone.  Have your own goals. Find yourself. Build a person who likes you and be confident about who you are.

When I read back my diaries of old days, which I wrote about my sadness in the ups and downs, and the desperation and pressure of marriage, I still feel grateful that I finally married. I thank Alvin for giving me a home, and set up a family with me with care.